“Tell me the truth” I said.
Next time I’ll remember to ask myself first, “aAm I truly able to welcome the truth that I am asking for?”

And the answer to this genuine question is “probably never enough”. In fact, it may be not completely—humanly—possible to prepare oneself to hear that truth, the one we are searching for.

When you ask for the truth, it requires;

1. Courage. Be brave to face what you may not want to see/hear/feel.
   
   
2. Responsibility. Not blaming others for offering what you asked for.
   
   
3. Wisdom. Trust that you’ll eventually grow from this experience, especially if you remind yourself that no matter how much you disagree with their perception, there is almost always 2% of real truth in any “truth” you are faced with. Focus on that 2%.
   
   
4. Time. The worst move would be to answer outright and react. Unlike what you think, you are not ready yet. Process it. Sleep on it. Re-sleep on it. Go back to them only when...

“I don’t like the way you keep treating me. How can I change?”

You read that right. No, there aren’t any typos in this dialogue, because this isn’t a dialogue.
There is nothing missing from this two-sentence sequence.
That is exactly the point: this short and empowering quotation must be a monologue.

Every day we witness many of these classic frustrating scenarios, wherein, regardless of who is involved, the lines seem rehearsed and everyone is off-book.

A perfect example (Warning: Barnum-ish Effect ahead), your parents.
The recurrent and totally unproductive interactions in the perennial disputes between your mother and father – 30+ years later, zero creativity, reproaches are exactly the same... laziest scriptwriters ever (replace “mother and father” by the actors of any long-term relationship).

Here’s a bone to chew on: you surely have one relationship (personal or professional) in which you are not only not satisfied, but you...

Most of the time you find yourself hesitant to make waves for the sake of convenience and the comfort of others ,despite the very real discomfort that you may be experiencing. But this time is different. You can’t keep quiet, you set aside your fear and tap into your courage to speak up.

Many factors, individually or combined, may have led to this:

1. It has gone on long enough
2. You’ve worked on a back-up plan
3. It’s the straw that broke the camel’s back
4. It’s touching some core values of yours
5. You have nothing to lose
6. It is Friday night, late… You’ve been drinking… you forget who you are talking to

or…

7. You just CARE ENOUGH

Yesterday I sent a note to one of my favorite clients in order to wake him up and better harness his coaching. Although he may be satisfied with it, this coaching does not comply with my standards of commitment and results. Since he seems happy with it, why should I risk fixing something that isn’t...

Since I discovered this expression some years ago, I’ve been intrigued and appreciative that such a concept exists!

Bill Milliken, a Christian minister working with at-risk youth in New York’s lower East Side, wrote the book “Tough Love” in 1968. Since then, Americans have used this expression in the common vernacular, and it has been promoted in education and management.

Why am I so enthusiastic about it? Because this expression reminds us of 2 essential things regarding relationships:

• Pleasing people doesn’t always equal helping them
• We are responsible for uplifting or weakening someone’s abilities by our own way of interacting with them

Tough Love: Two words that mean so much more than what each of them alone signify.
This relatively recent concept is actually defined by the Collins dictionary as: “The practice of being very strict with someone in order to help them overcome a problem with their behavior.”

4 points...

In any relationship or transaction, what you actually deal in is trust.
It is less about ice-cream, clothes, consulting, or law services than it is about trust.
The same goes for your lover, your marriage, your kids, your friends. Same for your presidential candidate. Same for the vaccine to end this pandemic… Anything.
What you expect – and what you offer –  is TRUST.

Back to our question. Are you trustworthy?
My guess is we know when we are, and we know when we are not.

Notice that I haven’t said “IF” but “WHEN”.

Using “IF” would imply that there are only 2 categories: those who are trustworthy and those who are not. I don’t believe in this binary; There is no such thing as Manichaeism when it comes to humans. The grey area, and its thousands of nuances represents the majority.
Besides, we are all evolving and changing constantly in real life.

Using “when” is indeed a sweet reminder that...