#19 Speak up if you care enough
Most of the time you find yourself hesitant to make waves for the sake of convenience and the comfort of others ,despite the very real discomfort that you may be experiencing. But this time is different. You can’t keep quiet, you set aside your fear and tap into your courage to speak up.
Many factors, individually or combined, may have led to this:
- It has gone on long enough
- You’ve worked on a back-up plan
- It’s the straw that broke the camel’s back
- It’s touching some core values of yours
- You have nothing to lose
- It is Friday night, late… You’ve been drinking… you forget who you are talking to
or…
- You just CARE ENOUGH
Yesterday I sent a note to one of my favorite clients in order to wake him up and better harness his coaching. Although he may be satisfied with it, this coaching does not comply with my standards of commitment and results. Since he seems happy with it, why should I risk fixing something that isn’t broken? I want him to get the most out of this, and I have enough experience behind me to know that we are far from the powerful leverage this coaching could bring him, and I can’t stand with that.
I CARE for him.
This morning I received a vocal message from another wonderful client. She debriefed me on how she had to step up and express a convicted NO to her big boss regarding an extension of her scope after the departure of one of her subordinates. She did it, despite her fear (she named it!), because she CARES for herself.
You know this moment when you hesitate speaking your mind to a close friend, to your significant other, to a colleague, to your boss, to a client... Indeed, the list is as long as the relationships are important. Either you truly care about these people, or you are simply sharing most of your vital space and time at work with them from Monday to Friday. In both cases, the stakes are high enough to make you reconsider the way you take CARE of it.
Is it really necessary to tell them what is bothering you?
Others are never responsible if you have resigned yourself to settle for unpleasant conditions for too long.
It is absolutely necessary to share what you feel when you CARE.
Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be Dr. House (always-spewing-everything-to-everyone). Adapt yourself, and choose wisely when to say it and how to tell them.
Whether you care for them, or you care for yourself, or you care for your relationship, it is no different. In these situations you must defend what you care about and align yourself with that intention. That is where you’ll find the bravery you need to speak your mind.
Challenge yourself to practice this Truth or Truth game this week in order to honor what and who you care enough about.
And because it’s not just about checking it off your list, do it well (with CARE), or don’t do it at all.