I’m running late, I break into a run, I must catch my train at 6:23 with a 2-minute window to board the vessel from this small train station in the middle of the countryside. I throw my stuff in the car,  it’s 5:51 when I finally turn on the engine.

I was so close to surrendering right away because I wasn’t able to honor my sacred “20 min ahead before every departure”. Indeed, the ride is about 15-20 min to get to the train station, not to mention the extra time to park.  

5:51 I hit the gas and flirt with the speed limit, I pass 2 cars, my adrenaline is rising. 

I never miss a train in my life, and this can’t be the first time. Especially not on a quiet sunny Sunday, with no good reason other than my inability to anticipate the expected-unexpected last minute things.

Almost there… the train station comes into view, this is the home stretch.

The stars align and I somehow manage to park in the very last empty spot.
I run with a suitcase twice my weight, I take the stairs to go down ...

“Working with your opposite style is always the best combination! If you are an optimist, you’d do better to partner with a pessimist. And the same goes for couples!” 

Where to begin… 

The skeptic in me: Should I start by challenging the notion that partnering with a pessimist would be solely and unequivocally beneficial for an optimist? And vice versa.

Or,

The hot-head in me: Should I start by demolishing the established comparison between Business and Love here?
Believe me, I’ve tested the glass-half-empty boyfriend, and I would sooner go to hell (i.e., remain single forever).

Now, that said ; 

-          I agree that a marriage of differences brings us to farther places than when we are both wired, thinking, and acting the same way. No doubt about that.

 

-          I also concede that having a pessimistic partner would definitely open my eyes on scenarios and downsides that I would never think of alone. DE-FI-NI-TE-LY.

 

-          And I cannot refute the great capaci...

“Tell me the truth” I said.
Next time I’ll remember to ask myself first, “aAm I truly able to welcome the truth that I am asking for?”

And the answer to this genuine question is “probably never enough”. In fact, it may be not completely—humanly—possible to prepare oneself to hear that truth, the one we are searching for.

When you ask for the truth, it requires;

1. Courage. Be brave to face what you may not want to see/hear/feel.
   
   
2. Responsibility. Not blaming others for offering what you asked for.
   
   
3. Wisdom. Trust that you’ll eventually grow from this experience, especially if you remind yourself that no matter how much you disagree with their perception, there is almost always 2% of real truth in any “truth” you are faced with. Focus on that 2%.
   
   
4. Time. The worst move would be to answer outright and react. Unlike what you think, you are not ready yet. Process it. Sleep on it. Re-sleep on it. Go back to them only when you feel at peace with it. (No one says that you have to resolve it th
...

Have you ever consider seriously to live another life? To do a different job? 

My friend Patrick is a successful financial director in London who is totally passionate about self-development and performance.
Naturally, we met at a motivational seminar 3 years ago in California. In his mid 40s, with 3 children and a respectable career, Patrick was seriously considering a professional transition to become an executive coach and mentor. 

For a couple of years now,  he has been committed to his official job by day, and to switching to his passion for coaching by night (and at every spare moment he could find). 
Last time we reached out to catch up I asked him for some updates on his transition. 
His first answer was the same as the one he gave two years before:

- Well… I haven’t quit yet.
This year we have some really challenging goals and issues I must cope with. The pressure is very high… Bla Bla Bla.
And you know, I have a family to support financially. I must be sure of my success befor...

Fresh starts are like magic.
Tabula rasa. A clean sweep.
Those times when we believe in possibilities that we used to scoff at, deny or doubt entirely.

I recently wanted so badly to implement a daily athletic routine. This desire for hygiène du sport was nothing new, and yet, I’ve never managed to implement it and to commit to it in the long term. Since my last unsuccessful attempt I have been thinking (no, dreaming) of starting again.

The fresh start happened four days ago. And for the last four days, I’ve showed up to practice. Yay me!
But the real satisfaction lies in my knowing that this time is the time, the perfect shot. How can I be so sure? 

Here are the 6 reasons why this time I will sustain this momentum in the long run.

1. I told a good friend that I would start my routine the following Monday. This friend, who takes me for my word, quickly replied: “Wow… I admire your decisiveness. I wish I could be like this.”
   Oops. Now I really don’t want to disappoint myself by disap
...

"It’s okay if you don’t support me”: a Sweet lie.

“It’s okay if you don’t support me”: Indifference.

“It’s okay if you don’t support me”: Detachment.

Actually, the most significant and subtle difference lies in how you feel—emotionally, physically and energetically—when you make this statement.
Words alone won’t suffice in diagnosing your position.

A Sweet Lie… It’s like bad faith.
This state is not difficult to identify, whether you are the listener, or the one making the statement. (Unless you’re speaking in denial and lying to yourself first—which does happen.) 

Indifference and Detachment, on the other hand, are quite different.Often mistaken for one another as one would clumsily mistake salt for sugar, in reality the two taste nothing alike!
Indeed, these two modes have drastically different meanings and impact. Let’s clarify them:
 

Indifference… I have no feeling at all, I’m neutral, it’s a non-subject to me. If you hadn’t brought it up to me, I would’ve missed it entirely.
Indif...

- I need to keep my team Jeanne.  
As you know, I’m launching a new branch in the company in a couple of months. I’m afraid that some collaborators won’t be fully involved in it, and now more than ever I need their full implication and energy.
So much has changed since Covid-19 hit, and I’ve noticed that some have come back to work with new questions and aspirations, reassessing the way they live, the work they do… I‘m even worried that I might lose some of them who are reconsidering their place in our company, even those who have no specific qualms with us but who simply want to try something else.
I need you to lead a short intervention for me with my team to give them that little boost they need and to lift their spirits, but without really coaching them…  

- What do you mean? 

- The thing is, I know you, you’ve coached me. I know that If you coach them on re-aligning themselves with who they are, some of them could leave sooner than expected/desired/what I’m ready to deal with… 

- “ You are living my dream life! You’ve crafted your work and your life from nothing and nowhere other than your desire and will. It’s utterly beautiful and inspiring Jeanne.”
- “Well thanks, Isa. But, I mean… I better have my life together!! Because, think a minute, this is exactly what I sell!
[She laughs.]

Actually, I’ve never been a fan of that old saying, something about a Shoemaker’s son who goes barefoot. Now, this proverb surely doesn’t concern everyone, but for certain professions (and professionals), if this shoe fits, it’s a red flag. And mine definitely is.
Imagine a hair-dresser with bad hair, an architect who lives in an ugly home with no spatial optimization, a broke financial investor, a cook who hosts a dinner and serves you frozen food…Would you hire them?

Who you are is what you promise.
Distrust comes from dissonance.

“The Shoemaker’s son goes barefoot”.
I guess that for this strange expression to have become an aphorism, it reveals how often it ends up being true am...

Last night a friend of mine got me mad. Really mad.

He didn’t stand me up.

He didn’t insult me, nor anyone I love.

He didn’t criticize my ideas or opinions on profound social questions, like how the world is evolving.

He didn’t lie to me.

…No, nothing like that.

Something worse: He tried to help me. He indeed shared with me some benevolent advice on what I should do and shouldn’t do to get to X – and X was supposedly an issue for me.

I do have 2 problems here.

•  Problem 1: X isn’t a problem to me. Period.  

After some debatable homemade reasoning of his own, he arrived at X by adding up some assumptions he’d made about me.

Assumption #1 (not verified) + Assumption #2 (Partially wrong) + Assumption #3(Almost right, but not right) + Assumption #4 (Projection from his personal and hurtful experience) = X, a Frankenstein problem he considered was mine, and tried to sell me!

•  Problem 2: Now my problem is that I have a friend who feels entitled and in charge of res...

A few weeks ago in my garden I noticed that plums and apples have started to fall. I eventually took the time to save some of them from inevitably rotting away in the grass. While doing so I decided to stop blaming myself for having waited so long to pick them up, and comforted myself with the pleasant idea of the delicious homemade marmalade and pies that my harvest would surely become. Sweet relief and satisfaction!
But the story doesn’t end there.
I placed the basket on the porch just steps from my door and let it sit there for nearly a week. Don’t ask me why.
When I finally made the time to deal with the basket, the fruit was overripe, crushed and rotten.
They didn’t wait for me.

And yet, I've already missed the rendez-vous with cherries a couple of months ago.
This time, I was looking forward to the abundant and gorgeous Napoleonic cherries that would soon ripen.
This time, I came (too) early.
I walked around the tree every day for more than a week before they were ready, watching...