#27 The shoemaker's son...
- “ You are living my dream life! You’ve crafted your work and your life from nothing and nowhere other than your desire and will. It’s utterly beautiful and inspiring Jeanne.”
- “Well thanks, Isa. But, I mean… I better have my life together!! Because, think a minute, this is exactly what I sell!
[She laughs.]
Actually, I’ve never been a fan of that old saying, something about a Shoemaker’s son who goes barefoot. Now, this proverb surely doesn’t concern everyone, but for certain professions (and professionals), if this shoe fits, it’s a red flag. And mine definitely is.
Imagine a hair-dresser with bad hair, an architect who lives in an ugly home with no spatial optimization, a broke financial investor, a cook who hosts a dinner and serves you frozen food…Would you hire them?
Who you are is what you promise.
Distrust comes from dissonance.
“The Shoemaker’s son goes barefoot”.
I guess that for this strange expression to have become an aphorism, it reveals how often it ends up being true among vastly different people and trades (and cultures! Fun fact: We have the exact same expression in French:“Les cordonniers mal chaussés”.)
How can such a thing can be possible?! I mean, can we really be good at something and not apply it to ourselves? It’s difficult to imagine such a paradox. And yet…
Before I share my thoughts about it with you, take a minute to revisit your own examples. Look at the people you know who seem to represent these proverbial “shoemakers” (maybe it’s you, in certain areas of your life) and try to identify the hidden patterns there.
What do you notice?
Personally, I’ve observed 2 kinds of patterns:
- “Shoemakers” who forget themselves.
People who feel so compelled to serve others (and some can be truly fantastic at it!) but who, strangely enough, use that calling as the perfect way to avoid taking care of themselves.
Behind their genuine smile and self-sacrifice, they unfortunately may have low self-esteem, or some deep-rooted apathy that prevents them from benefiting from their own compassion and talent.
How do you put shoes on your son’s feet in this scenario?
Know your value and love yourself.
Considering that your contribution is valuable is indeed the very first step. But to anchor yourself deeper, you should work on learning to love who you are, giving equal acknowledgement to both your strengths and flaws. And please, stop putting yourself second.
- Shoemakers who have a flawed perception of themselves.
This picture is far less pretty, and people are rarely happy when it’s time to look into the mirror; “Ignorant incompetency” could be a more accurate label to explain this phenomenon. Because perhaps the father of the son who goes barefoot is simply not really a (good) shoemaker…
And here, how can you equip your son with shoes?
Stop losing time, energy and money on shallow solutions. They can’t replace the core of what you offer: you. Be humble and assess your work, your acts, your skills… Everything that is leading you to forge the current you. Improve them, learn from them, and practice until you embody what you claim.
Focus on becoming a good shoemaker first.