Last night a friend of mine got me mad. Really mad.

He didn’t stand me up.

He didn’t insult me, nor anyone I love.

He didn’t criticize my ideas or opinions on profound social questions, like how the world is evolving.

He didn’t lie to me.

…No, nothing like that.

Something worse: He tried to help me. He indeed shared with me some benevolent advice on what I should do and shouldn’t do to get to X – and X was supposedly an issue for me.

I do have 2 problems here.

•  Problem 1: X isn’t a problem to me. Period.  

After some debatable homemade reasoning of his own, he arrived at X by adding up some assumptions he’d made about me.

Assumption #1 (not verified) + Assumption #2 (Partially wrong) + Assumption #3(Almost right, but not right) + Assumption #4 (Projection from his personal and hurtful experience) = X, a Frankenstein problem he considered was mine, and tried to sell me!

•  Problem 2: Now my...

“I don’t like the way you keep treating me. How can I change?”

You read that right. No, there aren’t any typos in this dialogue, because this isn’t a dialogue.
There is nothing missing from this two-sentence sequence.
That is exactly the point: this short and empowering quotation must be a monologue.

Every day we witness many of these classic frustrating scenarios, wherein, regardless of who is involved, the lines seem rehearsed and everyone is off-book.

A perfect example (Warning: Barnum-ish Effect ahead), your parents.
The recurrent and totally unproductive interactions in the perennial disputes between your mother and father – 30+ years later, zero creativity, reproaches are exactly the same... laziest scriptwriters ever (replace “mother and father” by the actors of any long-term relationship).

Here’s a bone to chew on: you surely have one relationship (personal or professional) in which you are not only not satisfied, but you...