“I don’t like the way you keep treating me. How can I change?”

You read that right. No, there aren’t any typos in this dialogue, because this isn’t a dialogue.
There is nothing missing from this two-sentence sequence.
That is exactly the point: this short and empowering quotation must be a monologue.

Every day we witness many of these classic frustrating scenarios, wherein, regardless of who is involved, the lines seem rehearsed and everyone is off-book.

A perfect example (Warning: Barnum-ish Effect ahead), your parents.
The recurrent and totally unproductive interactions in the perennial disputes between your mother and father – 30+ years later, zero creativity, reproaches are exactly the same... laziest scriptwriters ever (replace “mother and father” by the actors of any long-term relationship).

Here’s a bone to chew on: you surely have one relationship (personal or professional) in which you are not only not satisfied, but you...

This week a client of mine, a CEO, asked me “Jeanne, would you mind making a phone call to Bianca…?”

- Tell me more. What’s happening? What do you need me for?

- Well, since I hired her two years ago I’ve been waiting for her to deliver, to show me that she deserves the job. Now this is the last call.

- Hum…
Really?

This situation feels familiar to most of us, either from the perspective of the (desperate) manager urging for results, or that of the (also desperate) employee praying for a happy ending in this uncomfortable day-to-day environment.

Here are the 6 points of my answer to the CEO:

1. Historical perspective: First off, reconnect with the origins. Why did you hire her in the first place? What are her assets that led you to believe she was the one?  Focus on these and help her find a way to tap into her strengths and recreate the conditions for her to deliver.
2. Relevant perspective: To set up a successful resolution, YOU have to be...