#18 The 5 myths about leaders
“I can’t call it a “leadership success”, Jeanne: I did not manage to onboard this person.”
This is what a leader admitted to me this morning.
Although I understand this take on it, I still question it; is onboarding every person, every time, supposed to be a requirement for good leaders?
Leadership traits have been discussed in minute detail for years. The common list of indispensable soft-skills usually includes:
- Self-belief
- Ability to listen
- Ability to talk
- Empathy
- Connection
- Vision
- Assertiveness
- Self-awareness
- Accountability
- Truthfulness
- Reliability
- Attention to details
- Authenticity
- Drive
As you may have noticed, none of these qualities seem optional for a leaders.
But my point here is not to challenge what are or aren’t the most important qualities of leadership , and to argue about it.
What is more interesting here is to question what limiting beliefs we nurture around the leader myth.
Here are the 5 most frequent myths I’ve encountered about Leaders:
- Myth #1: “Leaders must have a strong and clear vision”.
Actually, I partially agree with this statement. Partially. Here is where the lie lies; It doesn’t mean that a leader should be able to answer precisely where his organization will be positioned in 5 or 10 years.
What it means, however, is that a leader must have a clear vision of their organization’s mission and where this mission has to meet the evolution of our world’s needs. By doing so, he is then able to draw a trajectory on the timeline and tell you where his organization should be operating in 5 or 10 years.
=>Rephrasing myth #1 realistically: “True leaders must own their organization’s mission, and meet the market’s needs where they flow”.
- Myth #2: “A leader is a leader because of his official position”.
I know CEOs who are not leaders. I know moms who are leaders.
=> Rephrasing myth #2 realistically: “A true leader thinks and acts as a leader, entitled or not.”
- Myth #3: “Leaders are recognized as such.”
That would imply that if you are not seen as a leader it means that you are not one. Although I could understand this statement, theory and reality don’t always match up on this.
Indeed, that would be true if only every organizational system wasn’t dysfunctional and would be perfectly able to honor performance and worthiness. Cultural environment is part of the equation. Every one of you has probably already experienced places that are not able to recognize leadership in actions. In some places it’s even worse, as the cultural system seems to repress this leadership wherever it tries to emerge.
If you personally relate to this category of unseen leaders, don’t cut yourself off from this natural strength. Trust yourself enough and go find your place; where your leadership will be welcomed, praised and acknowledged. Go for it. At least we can all agree on the fact that leaders don’t wait for an invitation. They invite themselves.
=>Rephrasing myth #3 realistically: “True leaders are emancipated”
- Myth #4: “Leaders lead followers/a team.”
That’s common sense, right?
And yet, everyday I see teams or followers with captains and chiefs who are not leaders. And on the other hand, I see true leaders who haven’t yet meet their tribe.
=>Rephrasing myth #4 realistically: “True leaders start by leading themselves, their own empire of thoughts and emotions”.
- Myth #5: “Leaders have to be tough to make it through”.
A soft leader is just as effective as a tough one. A creative leader is as powerful as a military one. It all depends on what you are made of – honoring your own style, whatever that is, is the key to having powerful impact and success.
=>Rephrasing myth #5 realistically; “True leaders fully honor who they are”.