#4 Thanks, but no thanks - 3 insights on quitting
Life is amusing.
Suddenly, in the same week, two big projects popped up in my life.
- Project A is creating a new ski resort with a whole innovative customer experience.
- Project B is working to strengthen women in sales positions.
I love new adventures. I love challenges even more.
So when their team leaders came to me and asked me to join their advisory committee alongside brilliant experts, I said Yes, to both of them!
Now, to be transparent;
- Project A connects me to my passion of skiing, to my former student job as a ski trainer, and to the beautiful mountains where I grew up.
- Project B doesn’t trigger any particular excitement in me - on paper. I am not an expert in sales, and neither am I particularly attracted to gender issues and sorority dynamics.
Yet, a month later, I quit project A.
What happened?
The WHAT (about) is not enough.
Over the first month participating in those two projects, I experienced a one of a kind ultimate contrast!
Surprisingly, I was having a great time in working in project B, whereas in project A I quickly lost that feeling of enjoyment and it was crystal clear after the very first meeting we had.
The decisive difference was rooted in the feeling of alignment we may (or may not) have working in collaboration with people.
After the very first meeting in project A, I knew I would have struggles to fit into their norms – their “mold.” Too many small features on HOW things were thought, operated and managed, and HOW people interacted in such system, didn’t resonate with me and my needs.
Life is amusing because it feels like universe sent me that disturbing-yet-enlightening experience of practicing two extreme opposite systems in the very same time, just for fun, in order to offer me these 3 insights:
1- After the meeting in project A I felt like a complete misfit. It took me hours to process it, being highly upset and confused. If I haven’t been involved in Project B during the same frame time, I definitely would have judged myself "Queen of the Freaks" for not fitting in!
Never judge yourself based on one set of circumstances only.
Sometimes the problem is not you, the problem is the match.
2- Soon after that meeting I told the project A team leader that I would prefer give my position to another expert.
Over the years I’ve been sharpening my intuition by listening and practicing it.
To do so requires two abilities:
- To know how to distinguish your gut feeling from other kinds of inner voices, especially from “saboteurs” that can fool you.
- Then, you have to be courageous enough to listen to it if you want to save yourself from further complex and unsatisfying situations.
Gut feelings are a sophisticated and fascinating kind of calculator that brings you to conclusions without letting you in on any of the reasoning.
That’s why it is frightening to allow yourself to trust your intuition, and even more frightening to act accordingly, but it helps you remain aligned to yourself and to your path.
3- Don’t underestimate the HOW. Consider it carefully when joining a project or applying for a job.
Decide not only on:
- what you’ll have to work on: The WHAT,
- the big purpose of your mission: The WHY,
- but on HOW they work and interact there, the HOW.
Their rules, their values, their culture. Wanting it or not, this HOW will collide with your needs, for the better or for the worse.
Don’t settle for what they state about it - check HOW they walk the talk.
The HOW is Just as important as the WHY/WHAT, if not more regarding teamwork.