#2 Adaptation (plain and simple) is so 2020

Regularly, my wonderful clients surface profound questions that sound like Shakespearean quandaries. Deep, existential thoughts punctuated with a desperate question mark.
I can feel their urgency to get my answer right away on the phone.

This morning, 8 am: How do I know how far I have to go to adapt myself to a certain situation?
Excellent question, isn’t it?
To adapt to others or not to adapt, that is the question.
It is always followed right away by another, more implicit one: Does it mean I am not flexible or agile enough if I don't do so?
Another great point.

These questions are not incidental, as they take place in our daily professional and personal dramas. I’m certain you’ve already asked them of yourself.
Actually, what is your current issue that makes you wonder if adapting and adjusting yourself is the required move? There must be one. There is always one.
Take a second and bring it now into your mind to make the most of what I’m about to share here.

So, this morning my client expected me to give him the supposed ONE answer, the “right” one, of course.

Here are the 9 items I brought in that enabled him to build up his own answer;

1. First, let's state clearly that we all have a degree of adaptability in us, regardless of our will to use it.
   Why is it worth mentioning?
   Because we all are able to be far more adaptable than we think. Look at what we all have accomplished navigating the last lockdowns!
   We forgot we host that immense power as we dive in comfortable lifes and are rarely living outside daily questions of survival.
   Adaptation has been in our genes for thousands of years - Our ancestors had to practice it fiercely to survive. Never doubt your ability to adapt. Remember that we all possess an evolutionary legacy that we can tap into and awaken at any moment!
   
   
2. The problem is not about our lack of adaptation.
   To the contrary, the real danger lies in our immense flexibility that enables us to adapt ourselves and ultimately get used to unsatisfying environments we would never think we could be accustomed to. Sounds familiar?
   
   
3. I am accountable for all that I adapt to. Choice is always mine, whether I like it or not.
   
   
4. When asking yourself “How much should I adapt?” replace it with these questions instead : “Why should I adapt to that?”
   “How much is it beneficial for me to do so?”
   
   
5. If self-adaptation requires you to compromise on your core values, what I call your "Marqueurs,” then you have gone too far, and you’ll pay it back sooner or later.
   We all must have healthy boundaries and decide how far we are willing to adapt. This is key! Just because we have this natural and great ability to be flexible and harmonize with our surroundings doesn’t mean that we have to use that skill any time we are asked to.
   Make your own self-alignment your priority.
   When I assess my own ability to adapt based on my “Marqueurs” it saves me a lot of time, energy and (future!) negative emotions such as frustration, disappointment, anger or regret.
   
   
6. Sure, some people may reproach you when you don't bend to their requests. They may even be disappointed. That is fine.
   
   
7. Adjusting yourself because it will please everybody around you has never been, and will never be, a legitimate or healthy path. Adapt only when it helps you to move towards what you want/need/desire, and what matters to you.
   
   
8. When you decide to adapt, know your “Why” and own it.
   That alone will put you in alignment with your authentic self and highlight the real meaning for you to pursue, either adapting yourself or not.
   
   
9. When you follow this process of reframing your call for adaptation; Bringing yourself back to the center, connecting to the purpose and deciding when to adapt or not =>The so-called “efforts” of adapting will certainly shift from a painful and constraining experience to a meaningful and uplifting one.